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March 01, 2007
THE COST OF RECONCILIATION
An African view of reconciliation
(by Kishawork)
It has been a joyful as well as a bumpy experience to work with other cultures in the last few years. My article here is really to give to the people who are reading an African view of reconciliation and what it means for us as we try to come to the Lord and each other, so that He can use us in his mighty way:
There was a joke, which is told by the people who are tired of their leadership and who admired the other world when I was back home. Our country leader and two rich western leaders ended up in hell. So one of the rich countries leaders asked to call home and check things out. He has talked about 15 minutes and charged over a million dollar. And the other one also called and talked over 30 minutes and charged over a million dollar. Our country leader asked for the phone from Satan, he talked over 3 hours. When he hang up the bill came. And it was only $2. He asked, out of curiosity, why those rich leaders charged so high while he was charged so little. Satan answered, we do not charge that high for a local call. As funny and sad this story is, it has a truth. Many Africans come from a hell like experience to this country. It is not hidden, with all good intentions; some of non-Africans do not understand our hell like experience. Though we come from that experience we Africans cannot use to justify our unwillingness to learn and submit ourselves to our non-African brothers and sisters. What does it mean to be reconciled? What is the behavior and character God wants to see in us as we embodying forgiveness and live with other brothers and sisters? In this paper I want to appeal for all of us what it may cost us to come together as a community so that the name of God will be glorified. If we want to have a part in God's work of reconciliation, we need to learn how to see people beyond their sin. Have we learnt to look at people beyond what they have done to us? Reconciliation is an ability to look beyond our hurts and looking at the God of the impossible who can bring love and unity in the midst of mess and hurt. Reconciliation among ethnic groups is above any miracle the world and Satan can overlook. The ressurection of Jesus made it possible to bring people to unity who would not be able to come together otherwise. The Jehovah of the Old Testament and the Christ of the New Testament related to his people in this way
Hosea 3:1-2ff God loved the adulterer Israel and willing to accept her as she is. Accepting others as they are is the Starting point of ethnic reconciliation. That acceptance will result in a lifestyle that is Christ-like. In short in this passage God sees love as a powerful transforming tool. God knows rejection and despising the sinner is not a tool of reconciliation. But acceptance and agape love is a tool of reconciliation that will produce transformation. The meaning of tough love is a love that loves tough. Tough love trusts the God who makes everything possible in the midst of the loved ones' mess and pain. We will talk about this a little bit later.
Reconciliation Embraces the Weak
Jn. 21:15 ff. One amazing point in this passage is the fact that Peter himself was not sure that he loved Jesus. Because he now humbled, through his bitter experience, that he is a human being with limitations. That hard experience helped him to depend on God even to love and serve God. But Jesus, knowing Peter's weaknesses, (Jn.13: 37; Mt.26: 33; Mk.14: 29) was willing to love him and use him in a might way. That is what true reconciliation is, the ability to recognize people as Christ sees them and be willing to see what is God doing in them regardless of their mess and weakness. Then, only then, the church can say we are doing the work of reconciliation.
Does that mean overlooking Peoples' weaknesses? No, no at all. But it means the only way we can do reconciliation is when we understand People can be transformed and improved not by being "exbraced" but when they are embraced. Making a limit on people; not embracing them; can never bring change. Change comes when we learn to accept people with their pain and mess. Then grace and love will be tools for pruning. Jesus accepted Peter with his shrewd character. It is after that Peter has learned never to deny and run away. That is why history tells us that he crucified upside down. Because he knew he was loved he was willing to face his deep pain.
Reconciliation is tough love that embraces the person, while it truthfully deals with the person sin and struggles.
Jn.4, In this story Jesus goes to this Samaritan woman. The Jewish people will never go through Samaria. Because they have to be careful for their safety and pride. They always go around it. But this time Jesus Passes through it. And Jesus asks for help from this woman, who is literally poor and an enemy. This woman is completely different from Jesus in three major ways: She is a woman -gender; She is a Samaritan- race; She is Poor-class. Or, in other words, Jesus broke three Jewish cultural norms when he dealt with this woman. The Early Jewish people thanked God for three things:
They would say: "thank you God, for not making me a Woman, a Gentile, and a Slave." But do not forget; she is not only an enemy, but she is also sinful. But he is asking for water. "HELP" He puts himself in a position of being helped before helping her. I think there is a lesson of humiliation for "the settled culture" here. Because Jesus was willing to ask for help from a known enemy, despised character, as well as a different person he crossed culture in all aspects. Of course, in their discussion, Jesus is bringing this woman closer to his kingdom by revealing the sinful truth in her life, telling her that she is not living with a husband now; how to come to the true worship of God: where he tells her regarding the concept of Spirit and truth. This woman, as you all know, became a witness to the Messiah's presence in their town. Jesus did not only embrace this sinful woman but revealed the truth in a very transforming way. As a result she brought many people to Jesus. Tough love is a relationship based on truth that transforms people from a lifestyle of sin to servanthood. What is tough Love? Some People told me: "Making any kind of help unavailable until you meet some requirements. Is that really tough love? Again let us go back and see how Jesus expressed tough Love? He forgave Peter the one who, three times, disown him? He came to you, and me who are sinners and do not know what to do themselves. Tough love is tough that goes and riches beyond the weakness and mess of the sinner. Just like Jesus did to this Samaritan woman. A person who has a tough love will say, "Sorry I am weak, I can not solve all your problems, but know that I am there for you." A person who has a tough love stays when others leave me alone. A person with a tough love comes to me when others stay away. A person with a tough love confronts me with my weaknesses in the goal of constructing me within the context of Agape. One thing the settled culture needs to realize is when we come to this country we did not come only with the pain and its effects. We came here as human beings sinful human beings. The settled culture need not be feel empathy when we are in pain and give us its back when we fail into sin. We are as people who are full of pain as we are full of sin. Pain and suffering does not make us before God more righteous than who did not experienced it. Our righteousness comes only through Christ. The oppressing pain we have been through in Africa is sad. But, the same time, we have been as sinful as the rest of the world. Therefore, we need to be seen as sinners who did pass through a lot of obvious pain. That is why we need real tough love, love that understands our pain but sees beyond our weakness. Tough love is tougher than the weakness of the loved one. If any one claims they have a tough love but that tough love will not end up without a relationship that will have eternal value that is not tough love; that is a failed love. Because Love, by its nature, should end up producing love. You cannot talk about love outside of love. Hatred, selfishness, and anger never produce love. You cannot give tough love in the midst of bitterness. If you have tough love it needs to end up producing a changed loving and humble human being. If it is not resulted in that you need to see at your self and question; if you are doing something else than practicing tough love.
Therefore my appeals to the settled culture are:
1. Do not except us we will become one of you. We may play because of your demands as if we are one of you. Believe me, we will be remaining ourselves in many ways.
2. When we come here we did not come only with our pain, we also came with all our sin and mess. If you only see us as people who have been in pain, not as sinners, you only got quarter of the truth.
To the new comers Specially Africans
If you drive in one of the cities of South Korea you will see a church built of marble. It is a beautiful Church. Amazing work of architecture. But it has its own interesting history. The Japanese colonized Koreans for 35 years. One day, during the colony, there were some Koreans praying in a Church. The Japanese soldiers came and told them to stop praying. Otherwise they will burn the church with the Koreans praying inside. The Koreans continued to pray. The Japanese circled the church and burned the Koreans praying. After many years the Korean Church leaders came and stood on the same ground where they're praying brethren have been burnt. The Japanese church leaders came, kneel down, and asked the Korean church leaders, with tears in their eyes, to forgive them for what the Japanese had done to their people. The Koreans said, "we forgive you!" since that time healing came not only in churches but also in these two respective societies. If we want to bring healing to our cities and societies we need to learn to look beyond the hurts we suffer by others. We need to learn how to be good friends beyond the misunderstanding of our brothers and sisters.
Therefore:
1. Whether you like it or not this is your family. Now we should be willing to learn new things, and be willing to change, to some degree, to the ways of our new family. That is what Ruth did in the Old Testament.
2. Always assume you are loved. When we pass though hurt and unexpected demands it is very easy to fall into the trap of a victim. That opens a lot of room for unease toward each other. The feeling of being a victim will never help for reconciliation. Becarefull!
3. Always in life, assume that you are on this earth not to gain but to give. If you lead that kind of life style that is a powerful message. In your relationship, always think first how you can help than you can be helped.
5. Americans are human beings and they need to be loved as we are loved. Therefore, as Immigrants, and Refugees, we need to learn to accept them not only when the y do good to us. But when they make a cultural mistake.
Some Useful Steps to take:
1. Never take a step while you are in bitterness. Learn to deal with yourself first.
2. Never leave a place without reconciling and doing your part.
3. Do not open your mouse to respond to every accusation; Remember Jesus did not open his mouth. Those people who really love you will love you with your pain and mess. Because they do understand the meaning of agape.
4. Learn to see the people who are hurting you as a gift from God to humble and prune you.
5. Learn to focus on God. Make him your best friend. People who will make God their best friend will have less problem loving, and living, embodying forgiveness lifestyle even when they are accused and misunderstood by others.
6. When you love, you are a powerful weapon against a wall of hostility.
7. Learn to tell the truth in love. Let people know your weakness with the fact that it is only through Christ you are strong
| By kishawork2 | 12:05 AM
