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April 2, 2009

I Do Not Want to be Born!

A Cross-Cultural Reflection on Contentment!
I remember a book written by a guy from my country entitled "I do not want to be born." It was about a baby in his mother's womb saying, " I do not want to born." The book was explaining the reason why the baby does not want to be born. It was an attempt to show how this world is unfair for babies who born in the midst of pain, poverty, and injustice. How this world is making them a victim of the a tragedy of not their own making. It is a book which shows the attitude of people where I am from. After growing up and becoming an adult I remember cursing the day I was born. There were many times I was forced to remember the message of that book and wanted to go back to my Mom's womb to say, "I do not want to be born" There were horrible and bad days and nights in my life. If the story ends there I could have been the kid in that book who would love to say, "I do not want to be born." But, thanks to God the story does not end there! It only began!
There is love that came from heaven to earth to touch and change people like me who can be the victim of their own brokenness and the sin around them. God came and touched my life with his love and grace. Today I do not see my life as entitlement and a person who is deprived of that entitlement, but I see it as a privilege. Surprisingly and thankfully, I am happy I am born. I work in a cross cultural context where I see people who think they deserve more, or people who are not happy with what they have or who they are. Because of the grace of God I am content and happy I am born and I know I am born for a purpose.
The more I live my life and the more I understand how much God has blessed me, the more happier I am becoming. In the midst of imperfection, pain, trouble, the ups and downs of life, what makes me happy is the fact that God has positioned me to give myself to him and others. Everyday, I am discovering that there is nothing joyful than the privilege of being able to extend a helping hand. Am I saying, "I am not selfish?" No, Believe me there is a lot of selfishness in me. Ask my close friends and my wife. But what I am saying is: the more I discover the joy that comes from giving is the less selfish I am becoming. I am not learning this just from myself only. I have wonderful friends with a beautiful souls who are joyful in the continual act of giving to me and others. I never thought I would say this just few years ago for I am programmed to see the selfishness in and around me. Thankfully, I got lucky and loved by God and many of his children to be able to say this. PRAISE THE LORD!
I think the one thing that helped me to be thankful is to ask the question: "Is whatever I have a gift or something I earned?" I guess the answer to that is, even if there is something I think I earned, it is in bigger context of the gift that is given to me. God gave me life, and everything I earn in life is because I had been given life. But this goes beyond the fact of being born. Because I see the gift of God in everything that is happening to me from the small act of smile from unknown people to friends who stood by me in the midst of difficulties. Therefore, there is nothing I can be complaining for the things I do not have or take credit for the things I have or accomplished for all of those happened because I am allowed to live and to be loved. Therefore, as many of my fellow Africans would say, "Thank you God for life!"
This brings me to the most important question: "Why are most people in the world, including those who claim to believe in God are not happy?" I think the answer is, because they see their life and everything in it as something they earned not something that is given to them.
I think the knowledge of contentment is freeing more and more from the slavery of past brokenness, the worry of the present and the burden and dread of uncertain tomorrow. Yes, life is a free gracious gift of God, and it is not so hard to give to others who can not respond in kind when you understand that.
Because many of us feel entitled to everything we have and we want to have and scared of loosing what we have we became less giving and less happy. One of the amazing thing to watch is how many Christians in America are responding to the economy crisis. It is making many people more generous and more dependant on God. I think it is a good thing for many people and churches around to understand what they have is a deposit from God to use it for his glory than a center where they can entertain the insecurity the enemy tries to impose on them. Therefore, I believe God is bringing more joy to many of his children while the world is in turmoil and does not know what to do. Many people are understanding what they have is not what they earned but it has been an opportunity to share it and blessed by the act of sharing.

The need of perception to accept all what we have or done as a gift is not only needed in the lives of the well to do. It also is needed in the lives of people who think they have been deprived of their "right." Let me illustrate:
This is more apparent in the life of Immigrants and Refugees, like me, who came to a place like America. Because of the bits and pieces of things we hear about rights, and because of the pain and suffering we have been through, we feel entitled to get what we want to get. Therefore, as soon as we arrive in America we start to make sure to get that "right" that has been taken from us using whatever means. We resent any one whom we think is in our way. Because of this mentality we end up being bitter in the first few months or years of our time in America. We also end up shaping certain ways of relating with everyone because we are still operating with the kind of mentality which demands things from others than being thankful of what we have; it is a very depressing and poverty stricken mentality. If we arrive in this country with a mentality or intention of giving what we have, not necessarily financial, how joyful our lives would have been. I am not saying it is easy to come to a new country and start a new life, I am just reflecting on my own and many other fellow alien lives; how much would we have saved ourselves from a lot of pain and sadness had we came to this country with the mentality that says, "I am going to America and I have a lot to give." By contrast, because of the expectation that everyone has to give us something we end up in a lot of sad and unnecessary cultural shock at least in the first few months or even years of our lives.
Because God has a sense of humor he taught me this lesson by making me an Immigrant first ; and now I am, because of the work God has given me, helping many other people that come to this country. What a wonderful way of seeing myself in the lives of others! I was so mad why people were not able to see my need and did not meet it. But because of God's grace and mercy , now I am on the giving end and I try my best to give and bless others. But the people who are on the receiving end does not seem to be happy with what they get. Because the standard they set for themselves is not met and they came to this country with a demanding mentality. When you are on the receiving end of the gift it is very easy to focus on what you did not get than what you have. Unless God has mercy on us and change our hearts, a mind which is focused on getting something out of everyone and everything is an endless pit. I have been learning the best way to contentment is to know everything we have is a gift and mostly it is given to us to use it or to bless others. It is joyful to know this powerful truth.
It is wonderful to be able to give because the joy is ineffable. It is wonderful to understand that who we are and what is given to us in all forms is not a right but a gift. Even when people do not appreciate whatever gift I am able to give them God made me happy just because of the act of giving. To me, life is less pain and more joy since I learned to give without expecting back. Jesus was not kidding when he said, "it is a blessing to give than to receive.
I am so happy I am born because I am given the privilege to be the channel of God's gift, and make the lives of many better. In my little world, I am learning to understand the happiness of being born in this world is the ability to find a joy in giving what ever the receiver's response may be. I am glad I am born even into this bad and selfish world because it is the perfect place to find that joy of giving for there is a lot, really a lot, of need. Because I am where I am right now I would not say, "I do not want to be born" for I am the happiest I can be so far and I believe the best is yet to come. No place in my life to say, "I do not want to be born."

Posted by kishawork2 at 3:06 PM | Comments (0)